Use-Me

the current truth

2010-06-27T06:59:00.001+05:30

was jst going through my previous post and can't help laughing aloud. what was i thinking ? i hereby completely disown that part of me ...and its not even very long back in the past that this has happened. jst 6 months back ? all this doesn't even fit into what i imagine of myself to be. not a bit. its amusing how i can disown such strong parts of my life and character and go ahead and create new truths about myself which will over time gain a strong currency in my own 'space'.noticed how i deleted 'life' and replaced it with 'space' ,perhaps, to make it seem that my thought is more layered than it currently is . which currently is laboring hard , drawing comparisions between 'how i imagine myself to be' and 'my favorite tv channel'. let me drain that out before i really start appreciating myself for such banality and who knows immediately post it on fb or twitter.the convoluted thought being that jst like how my favorite tv channel has been changing over the years , how i imagine myself has also been changing with time.i m so #disturbed.

P.S - not jst that , i m more challenged than this . these days i m facing a trouble trying to figure out what i should post on fb and am jst avoiding the confusion by not posting anything as such.i can't handle the thought of somebody reading my fb update and searching of the 'unlike' button.is this paranoia or is it some sort of a new age complex or is this fear of rejection ? has some research student already created a new truth about how fb is stoking the fear of rejection very early in life.
i liked it. perhaps somewhere inside i jst feel i made an attempt at being funny. but it is the current truth.

If only skies came falling down.....

2009-12-07T13:59:00.002+05:30

I would fall down in Aberdeen , buy a few balloons and just like in this movie , would fly back home ....

HOME - a word that has a new found meaning in my being ....probably the only tine in my entire adulthood that my eyes got all watered up at the mention of it. Probably a fleeting , irrelevant emotion in the world right now , but thats where i m headed too...an irrelevant , fleeting world. Even the K3G title song on the Lufthansa radio tugs at the strings of my heart ....it is the first time that i am aware of the distinction between mind and heart.....

What if i create a big scene here and get the aeroplane to land ?

What if my parents die while i cross the Atlantic ...i always thought only death could do us apart ...not such geographical dislocation...i-94 ? what if i don;t fill that up ? but if i really go back would i be failing mom and dad ? what will dad do when i am not around ? what is he doing now ?

even the desperate attempt to imagine hot , naked women doesnt wriggle me out of this irreconcilable damness..it only reminds me of all the sunday evenings that i had at home in all the 24 yrs ...i dont mind writing a half yearly telugu paper....So, yes i am sissy...but no amt of self deprecation is helping as i shamelessly wallow in pain and agony and long to go back to mom and dad...

a pain that is impervious to the spiritual strains of khwaja mere khwaja on the flight radio. Thinking of the more unfortunate alkso doesnt help.

this isnt a state of mind . it is life telling me that i am in deep shit , but since a lot of people have taken this shit before , i have no right to feel anything now..and then the barge of fancy words being thrown at me...'home-sick'...'first time na ?'....I DONT CARE..

i am dying . not a slow death but a quick painful exhausting death which almost feels like each finger being sliced one by one into 3 pieces , skin being peeled off layer by layer with chilli powder and pepper sprinkled all over and into the eyes...shoulders dislocated ,,,legs cut to dangle from the hips while that guy in the office i envy is being given the SMARTEST and the MOST SUCCESSFUL guy in the entire universe.

As tears dry up , mind goes blank ...as the most wasted time of my entire life awaits me and selfishness reaches a new height ....i shall take my mind off me ...involving myself into the lives of these people stuck in time travel.

Work in progress

2008-11-04T21:10:00.004+05:30

after weeks of doing 15hr days in office , its only fair that the scary poet inside should be let to vent out..

home home home
home sweet home
om shanti om
all cool boys come on and make some noise
home shanti home
all the hot girls put ur hands up and say
home home home

from teen love to toon love

2008-10-31T09:28:00.002+05:30

i saw this coming , but didnt know it'd be this quick..

she's hot!!

I H A

2008-09-10T07:46:00.003+05:30

15 years after K.H.K.N

13 years since A.H.A.T

11 years after H

finally comes........... MMJ

ironically , that swades pic

2008-09-06T20:28:00.002+05:30

Sundaram

2008-08-31T08:47:00.001+05:30

here -->

Particle Physics

2008-08-26T11:33:00.001+05:30

Reverend Brother , respected teachers and my dear friends

2008-08-25T22:06:00.001+05:30

tinku thinkaadu

2008-08-15T23:31:00.002+05:30

on a nameless morning anta , in a weightless hour anta , the sun was absent anta , behind the clouds so far..
far, far.

frantically, he wrestled the thoughts out of his mind. in a way not often expressed in public, he moved his hands.. infuriated at the sudden demise of the pompous sanity that sustained the pertubations of his wicked world. kicking out the shoes from his feet, he walked away from the congragated set of soul searchers. in his mind, it was the silliest thing that man could do. why in gods name, would anyone actually be bereaved at the loss of such pulchritude, he muttered under his breath.

he went along and sat in a huff. under a rusty old cold kissed flagpost, appealing in its solitude. man should sit with the likeliest thing he sees. not in his years had he seen a flagpost like that, like a blank white face in school reunion, it stood there in a corner, waiting for someone to come along and sit next to it.

no no that doesnt't end there..

yesterday is a bar around the corner, we visit. once in a while.

WHY RE TINKU ? WHY ?

Happy Feet

2008-07-27T11:23:00.004+05:30

Ai sock

Socks have evolved over the centuries from the earliest models which were made from animal skins gathered up and tied around the ankles.In the 8th century BC, the ancient Greeks wore socks from matted animal hair for warmth. Romans also wrapped their feet with leather or woven fabrics. By the 5th Century AD, socks called ‘puttees’ were worn by holy people in Europe to symbolise purity. By AD 1000, socks became a symbol of 'wealth' among the nobility.

Sock puppets can be made from socks

As sock puppets appear friendly, non-threatening, and clearly non-human, therapists often have their child patients use sock puppets to help them talk more freely about things. For the same reasons, and because oneself and one's sock puppet often feel like two different people, one can speak through a sock puppet to express thoughts or facets of one's personality that one would not feel free to admit in person or fears would harm one's reputation were they actually said in one's own person.

some joys are for a lifetime

2008-07-27T02:06:00.006+05:30

and I hate pictures for this.

Sisth Sense

2008-07-20T15:07:00.003+05:30

Why is death so funny and inexplicably strange when that is the most well defined thingy I have come across ?

Is it because you are living again that you are finding it funny or is it coz you see injustice in the idea that all the deaths in a lifetime are singularly branded as one death ?

Loneliness , embarrassment , humiliation and rejection are plausibly good enough reasons for death but it is just so unfashionable.

Hmm

Bloody. Everybody dies.

Come on ! very few experience spectacularly multiple deaths. The rest just have near death experiences which technically doesn't qualify.Thoughts about self suicide and exams also do not qualify for the same reason. So, don't worry about exclusivity.

What about failure in love ?

lol. Sorry , but I go by The Book.

Which Book ?

....

Beg your pardon ?

You are so deaf.

Nevermind , that leaves only self-respect.

How romantic and fanciful ? Self-respect is quite a deadly thing but when did you come across that ?

I don't know but that's such a cool idea.

Dude! Get a life. Stop kidding yourself.

No re. I think I know how it feels like. I am actually confused.

Bah! Just coz some girl pinged you doesn't mean you go overboard and give that self-respect shit to me.

Hmm.She also asked , how are you.

Dude! What happened the last time when you smiled and almost waved to someone hoping that the person will recognise you ?

Well..that doesn't mean...

Didnt you do that again ?

I was. I was just...

How many times did it not happen that you wanted to meet a person and you were told how lazy the day is ?

You always distort things. It was like...

OK.When was your day structured as you wanted it to be ? How many weekends did you plan ?

Stop being rude. Every death was very meaningful and close to my heart.

Ok.Who diligently followed the career of Nadeem-Sravan ?

What is that go to do with self-respect ? You are mixing two different things.

Nadeem and Sravan ?

Self-respect actually is...

Dude!! You blog.

Ok.Fine. I am going. Bye.

' ; '

2008-07-17T09:10:00.005+05:30

Rolling on the bed we passionately create so many worlds- some deceptively charming ;some shamelessly unreal , some reluctantly distorted ; sometimes to put all dreams to shame and someother time to develop a stronger bond with sleep, but then who doesn't want to avoid getting carried away / touched by the sweeping hand of time ?

So much rolling and such little moss that even incoherent emotions are slipping into the dark - flowing darkness that I have lived so far to touch .
Darker than the blue ,it is floating around with a renewed assurance that still blinds me in sleep ; probably even more magical than it ever was, but when I could not touch it even in spring , why not avoid dancing with the shadows to a rhythm that is being forcefully beaten down to silence with every second ?

But why dance when you can sing ?
like they say 'wise men sing'.

current music : sone ka rang hai / / jo dekhe dang hai
current mood : dang

I love my jokes

2008-07-07T12:27:00.002+05:30

"I sound good "
- Mao Tse Tung

Dev,getting down on one knee , looking hopefully into the eyes of a shy and confused Kaali,
"Will you Das with me ? "

"I am a beast !"- Gangadhar Teddu
"We are beasts "- Jugal Hansraj

" Please.No more idly "
- Hieun Tsang

"...as an artist , how does it feel ? "
- unknown reporter to Dr.Rajshekhar

Location : Shanti Hair Saloon
" Short aa , Medium aa ? "
very hesitantly 'a friend of mine ' , "Bill Clinton laaga...err...medium "

Two much

2008-07-03T10:16:00.003+05:30

* what better way to celebrate 'two' years at work where life seemingly has taught 'two' things about Control , it comes with a C but more importantly a V ?

*when there is so much scope for bad humour , why not ?

I'm an engine driver
On a long run, on a long run
Would I work beside her
She's a long one, such a long one

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

I'm a country lineman
On a high line, on a high line
So will be my grandson
There are powerlines in our bloodlines

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
I am a writer, I am all that you have home
Home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

(And if you don't love me let me go)
And if you don't love me let me go
(And if you don't love me let me go)
And if you don't love me let me go

and then you over do ..

If I could trace the lines that ran
Between your smile and your sleight of hand
I would guess that you put something up my sleeve
Now every time I see your face the bells ring in a far-off place
We can find each other this way I believe

From the hills and up behind, my town
is naked from the horizon down
The curvature is pressed against the raise
We walked up in the fields alone
And the silence fell just like a stone
That got lost in the wild blue and the gravel grey

Come and find me now

Though I'm here in this far off place
My air is not this time and space
I draw you close with every breath
you don't know it's right until it's wrong
You don't know it's yours until it's gone
I didn't know that it was home ‘til you up and left

Come and find me now

I keep you in a flower vase
With your fatalism and your crooked face
With the daisies and the violet brocades
And I keep me in a vacant lots
In the ivy and forget-me-nots
Hoping you will come and untangle me one of these days

Come and find me now

and suddenly you check an email about the deadline
your heart will just know what to do ...

July, July, July
It never seemed so strange

from 32 to 36

2008-06-19T07:04:00.002+05:30

why are too many sounds making music ?
clock ticks....

the universe is just expanding
watch ticks....

there is too much science around everything
clock ticks again....

why is everybody thinking when i am doing it ?
watch ticks again....

too much of reality can be scary but sleep walking is equally challenging
watch over does it and ticks again n again....

a lot of gravity around makes things very vague
and it is never too late to return to less cheerful things in life
after all , clock and watch both tick....

tujhe sab pathaa hai naa maa

2008-03-10T08:12:00.001+05:30

The Legend

I love Sayeeda Aunty !!

2008-02-01T09:45:00.000+05:30

Hi Rohini,

[ hello / how r u blah ]

Now when is Vighnesh getting married? Start looking for him too. Here boys and girls are getting married as soon as they are in college. Some times they are studying together after marriage.

[ tralala lalala ]

Love

Sayeeda

hmm..Absoultely. Very True , I must say.

2008-01-27T20:25:00.000+05:30

A few words resting in those shallow recesses of the cerebrum that echo and leave me speechless while in a serious conversation with them and those.

· xylaphone
· anhilate
· succinctly
· darling
· kettle
· espouse
· spouse
· antwerp
· igloo
· ergonomical
· turquoise
· oblique
· ecstatic
· zanzibar
· masquerade

**I am not in depression yet....but might after this

2008-01-17T08:45:00.001+05:30

/ / / / / \
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \
/ \ / \ / \/ \
/ \ / \ \

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~ ___/\ __ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~\__@__/~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

///////
* *

__

bluen away

2007-12-22T07:42:00.000+05:30

some blue to paint , some paint to blue
Bluen blue ,blues so many blues
on a canvas spread along the street , I blue my blue
Blending with no other blue , my blue stands out smiling at them
bluesing as always , twinkling over two streams , they sang to each other
- no blue today colours my blue

The FAN

2007-10-27T10:41:00.000+05:30

Staring at the ceiling I was in deep thought
round and round and round
making the sound
ound ound ound
it moved........dot dot dot it wasn't very hot

so sooner but later
I reached out to the regulator,

may be it was one , may be it was two
or may be it was three,
whatever twas, let it be

So , I turned the knob to zero ,
like a hero ,
who knows how much is a euro,
bhumroo- bhumroo.

it turned slower
and slower
and slowe
...nd..s..l..oo...

dot , dot, dot it's just too hot.
Hear thy cry for all thee craves is only the 'FAN'.

Crime and Punishment

2007-08-26T22:07:00.000+05:30

You don’t seem to have expected this!

What ? You ? What ?
You are right ; I certainly did not expect this .
You are guilty.

Ah ! Yes. I confess I am the murderer.

No, no; you lie , you can’t be.

How could I avoid doing so? Besides, I did not delude myself as to the probable consequences of the incident. Consequently, if no new charges come up, I am still guilty.

Well and good, but why is it that delirium always assumes the same character with you?

Certainly! Uncertainty, I presume ?

Don’t drive me to extremes!

I object !

I tell you, I object!
I can not .

I will not.

Might it not take some other form ?

Why wish to know so much , since you have up to the present left me in perfect peace with disorder ?

Hah! Hah! How very irregular!
Forgive my strange manner. My disposition , I confess is a very disagreeable one.
But we shall meet again.
More often.

Are you likely to pardon ?

I may have to ask you a few more questions. Hence we are certain to meet again !.

So, it will be.

So, it is !
Till we meet again.
You are coming to the dinner party , are you not ?

To the funeral you mean ? Ah! Yes.

Well, thanks for coming :-)
thanks for the book ...
Bye n take care.

Thought this piece of dark thinking should see the light of the day

2007-07-16T17:59:00.000+05:30

stinku: viggu boy!!
stinku is online.

abbeyo: one minutes
Sent at 8:50 AM on Monday

abbeyo: boss...10 mins lo foning
Sent at 8:58 AM on Monday

abbeyo: "cool "
sivaji choosava ?

stinku: no
naaku oka pedda question!!

abbeyo: oh! aithe artham kaadu le...."cool "

stinku: aap ka suroor - what is that?

abbeyo: yo..temme i say
actuallly

stinku: adi oka cinema ani
india's #1 movieee
ani

abbeyo: tarantiino....inka ...waschowski..something brothers kalisi oka cinema hindi lo teesthe ela utundo
alaanti movie adi

stinku: hero evadu

abbeyo: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

stinku: vaadu vaadena

abbeyo: huzooooooooooooooooooooor

stinku: LOL

abbeyo: yeah...vaade

stinku: aa movie review kaavali naaku
nee blog lo pettu

abbeyo: wakay ...repu choosthanu

stinku: nenu monna ekkado chadivi, chair meeda nundi kinda paddanu

abbeyo: oke...nee kosam oka chinna preview
aa movie lo oka scene : hero ni german police no patkelthunte....mumabi nunchi auto drivers ( black color autos ) ochchi...fighting chesi
i think i shud stop it here...

stinku: LOL

abbeyo: btw...chair iriginda ?

stinku: aa cinema kudaa choosava nuvvu

abbeyo: ledu ledu...repu choostha

stinku: fits kuda vacchayi.. evaro ammayi vachi chetlo keys petti patikinchindi
abbeyo: repu nenu office bunkudaamani thinking
over the last 2 weeks office bunk koduthune unnanu
i thought i can happily be benched for ever....kaani happy days r over..got hurled into another proj :(

stinku: when does that start

abbeyo: aug 1

stinku: oh

abbeyo: nuvvu neee itenary edisthe..
'i can ask for leave

stinku: i ll only come in august 3rd week
coz i am defending on aug 13th

abbeyo: ok..elaago nenu leave petting aa time lo ..harish is also comin down

stinku: oh nice

abbeyo: needi one month jig kada?

stinku: 3 weeks emo

abbeyo: ayyoo....adhemi poyakaalam

stinku: 3 weeks 4 weeks
what difference
ane rojulu vachesaayi

abbeyo: wakay
germany lo eppudu report avvali ?

stinku: sept 1st week
kaani i ll try
extending it

abbeyo: okays
naaku actually intlo undi undi bore kottesi i decided frm now on i shall work wit josh n ol
came off to office @ 9
although eroju naaku pani emi ledu..apart frm fillin few backgrn verification forms

stinku: oh
1 year ayinidaa?
abbeyo: ante edo koththa cliuent kada...vaadiki naa face choosi doiubt ochchuntundi
naaku criminal record ledu ani aadiki cheppali

stinku: hehe
naadi kuda ade sangathi
germany vaallu 2 weeks nundi passport pettukoni kurchunnaru

abbeyo: oh...ante valla thappu emi ledu ...my gaddam n mooch ...yest divyua valla mummy was wit me in the lift for 2 floors an then said..." oh nuvva ! i thought evarooo "
stinku: hehe
full gaddam penchaava?

abbeyo: yeah.....kaani after dat incident i decided...inka chaalu ani
now...my colleagues wont recognise me
sasthunna

stinku: chiknaa aipoyaava

abbeyo: haaan

stinku: intaku mummy vaallu sambandhaalu testhunnara ledaa?

abbeyo: oh ! dat was the final threat..if u dont shave...nenu sambandhalu choodanu ani chepparu

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: intlo ...internt kooda disconnect ayi sasthunnanu..msgr / orkut lo flirting kooda kasthamavuthundi

stinku: mee akke better.. mana age ki vachhe lopala pelli aipoindi, america vellipoindi.. udhyogam kuda chestundi... tch tch

abbeyo: yeah.,....very wise of her
ippudu naa pelli will b delayed for 2 more weeks

stinku: mee mummy ki cheppu, "discrimination against the male species is not acceptable" aniu

abbeyo: i've already started dat....as a mark of protest not eating brkfst once ina while
:D

stinku: parvaledu le sanna padutaavu

abbeyo: although ...reason being.they r makin idly jst too often at home

stinku: mandu kodutunnava ledaa regular ga?

abbeyo: no re....naa face ki antha ledu ani decide ayyi....back to drinkin coke in da stylish way

stinku: coke on the rocks aa

abbeyo: bottoms up

stinku: with a straw?
oh ok
too much kada

abbeyo: yeh jo paatshala ...masti ki p[aatshaal type lo
roju mana terrace ekki

stinku: hehe
mana apt lo evarainaa vintha jeevulu vachara ledaa?

abbeyo: emo.... chala rojulayyindi..andaru nee kosame waiting :P
i c this girl once ina while....anaconda ni choosi nattu choosi elipothuindi
i m sure..she;s telling her firends " u know what yaa ? there's a guy in my apt re "

stinku: inkemi.. seven stones aada daaniki pilu, ammayi ni mari
saahit, lohit vaalla ku cheppamantaava

abbeyo: assalu sai vishnu lo kreeda spoorthi is totally gone
stinku: hehe

abbeyo: forget spoorthi ...even paper cricket also no more

stinku: tch tch

abbeyo: andaru...Phd chese level chaduvuthunnaru

stinku: manamu sai vishnu nundi retract ainappati nundi.. kala ne taggipoindi, i tell you
bewarseness should have a new face..
abbeyo: save da lingo chaar ani oka org start cheyyali inka manam
stinku: nenu vachinappudu mana hrushit ne train cheddam

abbeyo: yeah....sure
i shall prepare ppts also...i have spotted some genuine prodigies in da lane

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: and anyways..mee bharati aunty ki vallani mana laa thayaaru cheyyalani ooo pedda aasha

stinku: manala..
manala?

abbeyo: mana laaga

stinku: manala!!!!!
paapam pillalu

abbeyo: actuallly...yeah paapam traumatuised child hood valladi...manalni roel models ga pettaru vallaki

stinku: kali kaalam vaachesindi..
ive soochanalu
manamu kuda role models aipoteh

abbeyo: voldermot has arrived
kali kalaama ochchesi eppudo ellipoyyindi
nuvvu US lo unnav..neeku theleyi ledu
hyd lo ochchesi ellipoyyindi...

stinku: sare.. nenu intiki velli phone chestanu le
eppudu free untaavau?

abbeyo: okies..misse call ivvu ..or ping..naaku free ikkada nunchi
always :D

stinku: sare.. nenu intiki velli ping chestanu/missed call

abbeyo: okies
Sent at 9:47 AM on Monday

stinku: so basically ippudu nee pani just office lo attendance e na?

abbeyo: wot r u sayin??
i am experienced now
i switch on the tube lights

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: and call up the help desk if the AC is too low

stinku: maree one year ke inta tarakki chesesaavu ante
maamulu manishivi kaadu

abbeyo: i know... ppl r gettin all jealous ..gotto deal wiot prfessionaal rivalry as well
very shadu business u c

stinku: i know..

abbeyo: like the moment u tell that the a/c is toolow...one eskimo comes n says it's too high

stinku: hehe..
do you get memo's out with a poll for suitable temp
abbeyo: not yet ...i m waiting for the right moment...
i m playin my card svery safe
stinku: do you have employee of the month?
Sent at 10:24 AM on Monday

abbeyo: " they "doo
and " they " get too

stinku: ohhh
"they"

abbeyo: but u always no ..i m never after awards
critical acclaim is more iimportant

stinku: true

abbeyo: howz da battery thing doing ?

stinku: in charge

abbeyo: btw..." i have decreas the A/C " does dat mean increased the temperature.., decreased the temp even more...or did he jst bring it down by one level ?

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: emo...i m "this" close to put my hands tightly at some objectionable places and continue chatting...
paata paadesi osthanu...hold

stinku: ok

abbeyo: hummayyya
btw...howz love life coming along...

stinku: hmm
very difficult question
too many complications

abbeyo: mine has never been soo good ....absolute bliss..

stinku: glad to hear that
how is the unfortunate soul

abbeyo: bought myself a some clothes yest...treating myself to some expensive buffets.....also watchin a movie a day
wot happened...? what terrible stuff idd u do to stop loving urself
?

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: i m also planning to write a few love songs for myself

stinku: you should

abbeyo: btw...after a great thought finally zeroed on to One Final Strategy
i think u shud try too...i m sure it works

stinku: ??

abbeyo: it has had 100 % results under STP conditions
Very simple Procdure :
1. Pick "the girl " ...i think in our case " any girl "
2. Call up any guy who was once a Monfort Brother or gandipet maama . Tell him you are going around with " the / any girl "
3. Change ur orkut profile to Committed .
stinku: hehe

abbeyo: 4. Threaten the girl to write a testimonial for u....or else u'll take her to a movie....and warning for you especially..suicide in ur case won't work
5. By this time our brothers and maamaas are already goin "tooooo much " and " vaadiki antha avasaram aa" and then comes the difficult part
6. Act like you are notdoing well and put up a depressed look on ur face .( i mean., be natural) . Go to the girl , you know dat you'll never fanntasise and tell her how much you n ur honey r in love....i m sure u iknow how to build up dat situation

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: 7. 3 weeks..in some cases...due to national holidays and strikes..make it 4 weeks
8. "Dat girl " will have no option but to go arouind wit you

stinku: so who is "dis" girl in your life
do i know her

abbeyo: not yet...i m planning to start auditions very soon

stinku: did nt you say it already worked with you

abbeyo: keeping in mind the current trend , i m giving public a choice as well..u can votemby sms as well
did i ? see...dat was jst to show...how quickly u can make someone believe ani...

stinku: hehe

abbeyo: normally , you would still not believe me...so you wud go through my scraps ....dats were your orkut testimonial wud play a mjor role

stinku: i dont have orkut account

abbeyo: i m saying ...normally..

stinku: that could be my problem

abbeyo: hmm...u could use ur blog and out annonymous comments
out = put

stinku: see.. again, i have anonymous comments blocked
on my blog

abbeyo: duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!
then , it will take you 6 weeks...u need to keep meetin monfort brothers more often
plan for a movie in the weekend..and ditch them at the laaaast moment....u know the reason right ?

stinku: tooo much
you are so smart
so, btw
i miss the point
how do you the girl
by doing all this

abbeyo: pressure and propoganda dude....it's age ole cia tactics
if not vietnam..there's always bosnia
or angola

stinku: hmmm

abbeyo: edhaithe nemi..,,worst case....for those 4 weeks , you will feel so busy as if you are life is " happening "
stinku: hehe
abbeyo: adhi vishayam...
every huzooor has a surooor

stinku: hehe
sare.. ippudu naaku baaga nidhra vasthundi
nenu repu maatladutaanu

abbeyo: maatlaadu
byes

stinku: bye
abbeyo: bata
stinku@gmail.com/gmail.B3EA5B6E is offline and can't receive messages right now.

Potpoli

2007-05-29T09:09:00.000+05:30

When your day starts with a lady inflicting her figurative imagination of a bare chested shahrukh khan and taking sides on who is better dressed , allu arjun or chiranjeevi then you quite understand that you are no where close to the magic moment of life where a yes or a no can change your life forever .

I silently chose to suppress any kind of an emotion that could have cropped up at that moment , for, today I had decided would be different ,much different from yesterday and better than tomorrow. Whatever memorial day might mean to the yankees, for me it was a chance to get back at all the fun that I had missed out on for over the last few weeks.

But then reality as always makes a silent back door entry and makes me think now , whether I bore people or people bore me which is quite strange for a normally people friendly person like me. Or should I be asking, how much do I bore people?

Either ways, like any planned holiday, here I am, seeking inspiration from loneliness.
Not that I willfully chose it but like always people have been busy doing so many other things , just today.

To feel lonely is one thing but to know you are alone is another,
Much like, to go out on a long walk is one thing but to have encountered a stray dog longing for your blood is another (a watchman with a stone in his hand does help )

Or clearly put, to suffer because y our love is unrecognized is one thing but to suffer the looks of a man whose lady you are gaping at is not so much the same and for the understanding of the common man , to be seated in a café sipping lemon tea with a Friedman or Dostoevsky is so much of one thing when compared to reading a Chacha Chaudhary ( double digest) , then the lemon tea very unassumingly slips peoples minds , especially when they peep and see the intellectual man reading ‘Rocket’s Kidnapping ‘
’ Beeni In Park ‘ and ‘Clever Potpoli’.

But then , every day has it’s learning, do not let people know that you still find literary solace in Chacha Chaudhary and please do not read that in public . Also the Diamond Coloring Contest at the end of the book is only for children below 15 years , So do not waste your time and ofcourse the sketch pens.

.. it means you can see two dots

2007-05-28T14:00:00.000+05:30

hi
now iam in hyd
i came on monday
means today

I am toying with the idea of soon starting a separate diary for such invaluable gems from my cousin and not to mention the out of the world expereinces from the cab..

aaaa...aaaaa......aaaaa....aaaaa... kabhi kushi kabhi..(*sniff)

2007-05-19T22:00:00.000+05:30

hi
uate your lunch
what spaseal
how is nirmaakka
and praveenannaya
did annya came from banglor
sorry because
we thaought go out on sataday
but
now i am in wgl
now how
ok
i will come to hyd at monday or sunday ok after annya comes from banglore we will go to any movie ok please give any answers

throat filled with huge lumps every inch , the pleasure you feel to see your nephew writing
his first scrap to you...(*sniff)

aaaaaaa.....aaaaaaaaaaa... kabhi kushi kabhi...(*sniff) in the background

I think

2007-05-18T05:59:00.000+05:30

If I think that I should think about thinking about the unthinkable, which , in itself is quite unthinkable to think of, then to think that I think, I think can be thought of to be unthinkable in the normal realm of thinking. For, he who thinks can think of thinking cannot really think of someone else to be thinking about his thinking of about thinking of thinking. Which makes me think that as I set about thinking about thinking being so complex in thought, how can you simply think of this thought which has already been thought of to be unthinkably thoughtless to be thoughtless? So, as I keep thinking about thinking, which by then would have already been thought of, then to think before the thought is totally unthinkable, but then you always thought that you think.

You think so?

I thought so.

2007-03-10T10:00:00.000+05:30

good news : i m not being kicked out of the project .That mail seems like a product of someone's madness.....

but very quickly , this .....
Happenned to one of my colleagues in another project

hero : giri
side kick - ashok ( my friend )

mana giri gaadu has some out of the world commnication skills
they were on a call with a firang,

firang : hi ..hello etc....is it hot out there ?
giri : no no no....it's giri and ashok out here....
ashok : bachaaaaaaooooo..... staring unbelievably

firang : wot's the program name?
( fyi : all progs we create in sap start with 'Z')
giri : jeee teee
firang : excuse me?

giri : jee for jeebra
teee for turpentine !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ashok loses hand eye ...brain-heart co-ordination

anyways...later...ashok went to US
giri on call with ashok ( after life is still disproven...infact it's now proven )

ashok : i m coming back...u want anything ?
giri : get me a rocket ?
ashok : what ?
giri : rocket rocket....it is very cheap in amreekha, get one for me no ?
ashok : from some where in the limbo .....wot? rocket?
giri : tennis rocket !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

few lives later , the hero had to go to the US and was taking his wife along.
He was to submit his wife's documents to the immigration. By now you could have guessed what his mail read ......
" Attached Wife " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random PJ : The immigration guys would have replied saying , opened the file but couldn't find your Wife :P

What If ?

2007-02-06T14:50:00.000+05:30

Yun hotha tho kya hotha?

What is it like to be killing somebody ?

2007-01-31T08:58:00.000+05:30

I am sitting behind my comp , holding knife and waiting. If they are coming near to me ,calling me for another meeting , then I am beating them with my hand, but there are so many coming.
Looking out from my den at the Spring Creek Conf room down the floor , the air is shaking just like water if you are throwing rock into it. But like ever, having no choice I am moving slowly slowly like cow. Having been through one such 3 hour meting yesterday , they are not even thinking anything is wrong and I am almost laughing and almost dying because my heart is beating so slow and I am thinking about what is going to happen.

I am not knowing why I should be attending the meeting also where I am only switching on lights , adjusting projector and practicing drawing . Why is any one of us be bothered if some company wants to be setting up centre in Mumbai or Canada. Like idiots we are going and sitting.

Commandant is thinking and I am liking to watch him thinking. He is putting his one hand in all his big hairs and the others seem to be picking beard / nose . This is always happening, and now it is happening even more because the meeting I am knowing is for 4 hours today. First few hours went away watching mosquito everywhere moving around in circle.
Twirling twirling my eyes rotating , I am feeling the wind is blowing softly in my ear and on my skin and I am looking no where , I am walking out of the room so nobody is seeing me or hearing me ;
running ;
jumping ;
arms stretching I am singing all of the song – mitwaaaaaa……mere mann yeh bathaa de thoooooooo

I am liking that man in that movie and I am trying to be acting like him , but sometimes I am thinking of the ladies and I am sadding .

Where is she ?
aaaah there she is running she also coming to me.
She is not even saying one word in the whole time .

I am asking her ‘ kis ooor chalaa hain tu ? kya paaya nahin tu ne …?’
She is only shaking her head yes or no.

Are you liking me I am asking ?

No answer.

Are you liking banana ?

Nodding .

Chicken ?

Yes.Yes.

Jaam pandu ?

Yes.

Are you stupid ?

No.

Why are you not talking talking ?

No answer.

What is it like to be killing somebody ?

No answer.

Viiiiighneeeeeeeesh !!!!

He is looking at me.
Commandant is starting to watch. I am laughing because he is looking not just like madman but mad horse. Enh! He is saying and I am watching how he is folding his hand together and we are back to pretending to listen to Bayer Canada , the estimation , Ron , Dan , O & I , Teresa…….bah!

P.S: Another meeting today …2 hrs :(

Race to the bottom.

2007-01-20T22:46:00.000+05:30

Failure - the quotidian feature of my life.

Ofcourse it might be argued that one may begin to feel a touch of pessimism ,but, if you set aside the prism of optimism , you’ll open to up the black hole of hopelessness – my life.

This loss of hope comes not just because of the rejection by every major b-aschool in the country for the 2nd successive year but more because of the way they put it.
“This performance of yours is not a complete indicator of your full potential.However, we thank you for your interest in …….”

Now I am not eternally damning myself but it’s a hardnosed reality which I not so proudly embrace.

Now while all this was happening the Man of La Mancha , momentarily obscured by silence descends on and decides to play escapist by going to what Atlantean quotes as Awwwesome!

Not that I always go to movies on his behest but inspite of Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Alladi’s presence , I was still awaiting ‘Aye Hairathe’ to bring on the brief moment when one becomes disengaged from life and time stands still as a long stretch of dreams fly past and I can sense the glistening drops of dew on verdant grass , tall pines swaying to the melody and a cloud of colours blinding you …..but …..but….

A new current of dark something engulfs every thing and your mind shouts…..
Beat ‘em …Beat ‘em ….
Tomatoes …Tomatoes…
Ban the movie….

I try to recreate every moment again but an overarching feeling of condemnation destroys everything. Only a refreshing cup of chai and Alladi manage to save the day.

yeh dekh amma.....tumhara laal...hero herolaal

2007-01-17T11:38:00.000+05:30

Oh no no Salaam Namste is this one...

2007-01-15T11:29:00.000+05:30

Now that is some serious fan following.

2007-01-11T19:28:00.000+05:30

The End.

2006-12-25T08:53:00.000+05:30

In this season of retirement , following the path of legends , comes another boot-hanging.
For years, it always felt great listening ,
Dude! Grow Up!
Man! Grow up!
Arre oo ! Grow Up!
Just realised I am/was no longer the dude / man / arreo....
Antha Slash ayipoyindi...
The eventuality of our lives has finally thrown up it's hydra headed monstrous face.

The long standing family secret is out. The word that could have torn the family apart 11 yeasr ago was finally uttered ( K3G anyone ?)
Why ? when ? How?
It goes , Mummmy has a brother , the brother - another sister.
The sister of the brother - a daughter( D:1).
The sister , another sister ( bah ! not mummy) and of course as like other sisters,a daughter( D:2).
Now, D:1 marries the brother of her mother.
ok ?

Now D:2 as you wouldn't have expected.... D:3

So , if you are just thinking howz D:3 and I are related then hold...go back.

Now that you are aware that D:3 is my mother's sister's grand daughter and so my mother's brother obviously becomes her grandfather , and not quite obviously since my mother's brother married another sister's daughter ( who was/is my cousin sister ) , my sister becomes D:3 's grand mother and that would make me Grand Father!

Dudes! and that's my point!I am/was Grand Father!!!!
Seems ,have been a grand father since 1995......

So, on moral grounds , I feel I can no longer do justice to the Dudism and hereby put in my resignation from Dudesmanship.

It has a been a long journey ,a thoroughly enjoyable one.
Thank you all , (gulp) Love you all

(choking) YO

Click-Lick

2006-12-21T15:29:00.000+05:30

The First Principle

2006-09-06T19:48:00.000+05:30

Who say's work can not be fun ?

well,
It's true.

Tales from Work

2006-08-28T14:22:00.000+05:30

Who would normally think of looking up the dictionary meaning of ‘SAP’ in dictionary.com ?
my guess would be …hmmmmm
a frustrated , female repelling, life-less, sucked out , boxed , lonely short sighted misanthropic, gobbledygeek ?

Oh! Btw. Welcome to Me!

Going back to the meanings,

Sap –
noun
1. the juice or vital circulating fluid of a plant, esp. of a woody plant.
2. any vital body fluid.
3. energy; vitality.
4. SAPWOOD.

5. Slang. a fool; dupe.
6. Metallurgy. soft metal at the core of a bar of blister steel.
–verb (used with object)
7. to drain the sap from.

secondar meaning Fortification. a deep, narrow trench constructed so as to form an approach to a besieged place or an enemy's position. —Synonyms 3. impair, enfeeble, deplete, exhaust, enervate.

A covered trench or tunnel dug to a point near or within an enemy position.

1. SAP AG (Systems, Applications and Products in
Data Processing).

Well now for some factual results,

Top Things SAP Stands For

Stops All Production!
Select Another Package
Suffering and Pain
Salary Advancement Program
Scare Another Programmer
Slow and Pointless
Say a Prayer

and somewhere there lies the answer for how my career HAS started off…

eh? huh!
signing off,
Sick and Pissed ( SAP)

Systeme, Anwendungen und Produkte in der Datenverarbeitung!!!

head bang all

2006-07-14T08:54:00.000+05:30

a new day .... a new world , after a nice satisfying dreamless sleep, i get into the cab , a perfect morning to sum it up . something had to go wrong but nothing did.
the hyderabad sun was taking it's time too ....so a perfect photoshop morn and i was just waiting for the correct song to hum. ppl in the cab were humming their own favorites when the driver decides ..... 95 fm ...radio mirchi- idi chaala hot guru

ok .i m cutting it short...the trainer is in.. so the song of da songs...i guess it has psychedellic overtones to it....but i m sure u'll listen and absorb it's essence...

"mokkajona thota lo kukkalochchayi

koththimeera thota lo kothulochchyai(2)

mana royyalat thota lo cheemalochchayi..."

ok..seriously...goin tata bye...back to SAP-ABAP

office-office!

2006-07-06T10:41:00.000+05:30

babus!
first post frm work!

still not cubicalised...training...4 days ole...same old ,our companby is this - that.. just thru wit one of the many psychometric test s that v'll b put thru..

btw...associate analyst - enterprise applications- SAP

tussi jaa rahe ho?

2006-05-21T09:36:00.000+05:30

oooooo huzooooor

2006-05-21T09:32:00.000+05:30

To all those who always thought and still proably swear that Himesh Reshammiya's such a big pain....The Nasal guy...or in my aunt's words....Sooru kukka .( Ooru ++= sooru )...who has brought Indian music to an all time low, let me
with all due respect tell you....**** urselves.

Not that I am a big exponent in music, but when you hear the person singing live and experience thee nergy he generates on stage and in the crowd, he's definitely not any ordinary musician.

Many people would sneer at this, but having heard the Shanker Mahadevans n SPBs , Live in Concert and having watched so many Concerts on Sony ,must say this man is Terrific. Not trying to draw any comparisions or trying to say he is the best...but he definitely doesnt deserve the disrespect of all and sundry.

Not many people, even great stars can sing Live on the 7th octave and higher and in such a scale, with such amazing feeling and energy.

Got to understand what this 'energy' thing means.

I suppose no fool would ever doubt his credentials as a music director , but ,people who have problems with his singing,please go and attend his concert.

Purely out of frustration upon hearing almost every 2nd guy makin fun of the man.

Himesh Reshammiya - the new Indian Idol

Thank You

2006-05-21T09:28:00.000+05:30

'The first all correct entry was that of Vighnesh Chandra of Hyderabad.Congratulations!You should hear from Fabmail.com soon.'

-The New Indian Express,May 21,2006; The New Sunday Express: Page 3

Scary Me!!!

2006-05-19T00:22:00.000+05:30

and then , all of a sudden,

I sit alone in a corner exploring the psychological depths of a man whose human dignity has been humiliated.living under conditions of a constant suppression of desires and aspirations..

...only I alone have discovered the tragedy, comprising suffering, self-reproach, an awareness of better things and the impossibility of achieving them, and most important of all, a dazzling conviction maintained by these unfortunates that everyone is like that and, therefore there is no sense in improving ourselves..

I am a poet in my own way, but i myself am ashamed of this poetry, for i deeply feel its unworthiness,albeit this craving for risk does ennoble me in my own eyes

** U guessed it right...i didn't write those lines.....but ....sometimes all we can say is 'That's life' and.....take a right turn.( shall b glad if u get da joke)

Human Clowning

2006-05-18T23:59:00.000+05:30

biji life

2006-05-18T23:33:00.000+05:30

Am i busy or wot?
Now that my engineering is also done , i guess i am not finding time even to take stock of what happened in these 4 years and no time even to feel depressed about what i "really" want in life and tragic questions like that.
It seems all of a sudden there's a huge hunger for fun in life and boy am i having fun or what??

Never knew that there's so much going around me that i am not finding time to get bored.
Even as i am writing this, plans are being made for my trip to Nainital- Mussourie.
It's very funny that most of us ( Indians in general) do not travel a lot. Explore a lot. And if everything goes right,
I shall be going to Kashmir too this june!!

Either ways, tirupati was surprisingly fun . Shot some amazing videos, which is taking ages to uploaded on
youtube.

Cinematic Achievements:

The Butterfly Effect

Sin City 1,2,3

V for Vendetta

Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy

Pokiri (twice)

Darna Zaroori Hain

Bangaram

M.I-3

and guess what ? even, "Gone With the Wind"..

Remarkable keeping in mind that it's hardly been over a week since i left college and u should also take into account
for the days in Tirupati and also the time spent in "Mufli" , but what's even more striking is that the guilty feeling no longer exists
about wasting time over a movie.

Shall leave you with one picture to ponder abt.

Govinda- Goooovinda

2006-05-06T20:19:00.000+05:30

Now that there is only environ-mental Studies paper to go, after ages i was bored n so glanced at today's newspaper n guess wot i read:

Balaji waives Rama's debt!!!

no kidding: referring to Lord Balaji and Lord Rama

Can not but laugh all teeth out.

btw, TTD has waived off a loan of Rs.2 crore once given to Bhadrachalam Rama temple.

Funny as it might sound but all of a sudden the socialist inside me sprang up. I have
this general notion for reasons many that Rich people are bad. Atleast the rich people i know are bad.(by rich, anyone, richer than me) and since Tirupati devudu is rich,applying transitive property.....'the thing which should not be said'

My senselss logic is also vindicated by the fact that in school we are always taught "Rama is a good boy or Ramudu manchi baaludu" never was it Balaji/ Venkateshwarudu/Srinivas/ Govinda.

Me going to Tirupati next week, so got to sort this out.

btw, heard Govinda is back into action.Some would not agree but Govinda to me is the

ultimate funny guy and the 'best' dancer in bollywood.

personal govinda favorites:Hero No.1 ,Deewana-Mastana, Aankhen,Hadh Kardi Aapne, Dulhe Raja.

hell-o- brother

2006-05-04T09:52:00.001+05:30

Every time I see those rolling images of Pramod ji in different moods on the tv screen there’s also this ticker running 1949-2006 and I feel like drumming my chests out with clenched fists to say why him? Why? Why? Wot a smile he had! Wot sense of dressing and da man was funny. I very sincerely believe funny people shouldn’t die. Coz god himself is a funny man and there is this saying that ‘funny people do not like other funny people.’
So, there is a great deal of chance that they will be ill-treated Up there. (Forgot to mention, apart from being funny, god is revengeful and unjust too)

But what will happen to ba-ja-pa .Wot’ll happen to nation and who will take his persol sunglasses and dat mount-blanc pen?
Is anyone thinking along those lines?
God! How unmaterialistic people have become? (also, god has no work and is always listening to u n me)

While this phase of gloom passes I realized I have more to feel happy .Reason, I have no younger brother. What kind of a death was it to be killed by a toothless, slack jawed schmuck for such trivial issue? I think there is this pertinent danger looming on all those big bro’s who never miss a chance to show who the big bro is. ‘Mental’ studies have also proved that every younger siblings in their lifetime would have devised atleast 3 plans to mortally affect their brothers. The reason the mental doctors sight is the huge mental stress they are subjected to since childhood always having to wear the second hand dresses passed on from their big brothers.

But what if this Mahajan incident sets off a new trend, I mean considering it’s summer vacation and kids have really nothing to do except for watching tv , what I am talking of is probably more relevant than hypothetical fears of global warming. ( read Michael Crichton’s State of Fear )

While I am trying to prepare for my second last exam in engg ,I feel assured that I just have to concentrate on my subject rather than keep one eye on a younger brother. Who knows, that bat in his hand might soon become his Toledo blade. Thank you God, but for you, tomorrow I know, I am not going to die in the hands of a senseless younger brother.

Bangaram- 1st day-morning show- power everywhere

2006-05-03T18:34:00.000+05:30

Emperor of Blandings

2006-05-02T08:45:00.000+05:30

There are great writers, greatest writers, funniest writers,insightful writers,magicians with words who can transport you into a different world, all kinds of writers but then there is this one particular,
Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

The best description i've found of his, "He exhausts superlatives"

but,aslo for general knowledge , issued in public interest....guess who won't be there on TV when i press 29 on my remote at 9 in da nite frm may 4th..

Anaganaga oka story...

2006-04-29T20:26:00.000+05:30

Came across this story today, doling it out verbatim:

A powerful wizard, who wanted to destroy an entire kingdom, placed a magic potion in the well from which all the inhabitants drank. Whoever drank that water would go mad.

The following morning, the whole population drank from the well and they all went mad, apart from the king and his family, who had a well set aside for them alone, and which the magician had not managed to poison. The king was worried and tried to control the population by issuing a series of edicts governing security and public health. The policeman and the inspectors, however, had also drunk the poisoned water and they thought the king’s decisions were absurd and resolved to take no notice of them.

When the inhabitants of the kingdom heard those decrees, they became convinced that the king had gone mad and was now giving nonsensical orders. They marched on the castle and called for his abdication.
In despair, the king prepares to step down from the throne, but the queen stopped him, saying:” Let us go and drink from the communal well. Then, we will be the same as them.”

And that was what they did: the king and the queen drank the water of madness and immediately began talking nonsense. Their subjects repented at once; now that the king was displaying such wisdom, why not allow him to continue ruling the country?

The country continued to lie in peace, although it’s inhabitants behaved very differently form their neighbors. And the king was able to govern until the end of his days.

I look around and I sometimes wonder whether it is our story.

tere ishq mein meri jaan ...'fanaa' hojaaye

2006-04-23T08:01:00.000+05:30

It was dusk. The faint light of oil lamps through random windows was the only relief from darkness. Suddenly a breeze blew. Sly footsteps unwilling to be heard echo in my ears. It was definitely HER. Leaves shivered. A mystical perfume wafted down. A leaf shook in fear, detached itself from the tree and covered my eyes. Alerted by departing birdcalls and the grating cries of crickets, unable to resist the provocation I hastened my steps. I could feel HER breath. I followed to confess my love . She moved , I followed. Through foliaged pathways , wilted groves, meandering through hammocks and shaded glades. The squawking crows, squealing chipmunks and serene bats contrived to give an impression that Shee loved me as ever. As these thoughts swayed in my mind, eyes opened and she disappeared into a gaping mouth of nothingness.
Boo! ( or was it bublaa boo!!!)

Huh! Again?
I fumed at my misfortune to conceal my giggles. How many times? Just, how many more times?
From a distance ,two straight melody lines followed by a bridge that ended on what felt like an unresolved high note ,which got quickly grounded by a smooth segue , what came after that was ...humming ,clapping, tabla rolls, guitar bursts, santoor strains , violins run ....subhan allah …subhan allaah..chand sifarish….

aao sunaoon pyaar ki ek kahani....

2006-04-20T12:31:00.000+05:30

Perhaps little by little it is sinking into me that I might never fall in love again…yeah again [;)]…Shrugging away all skepticism never letting stupidity to cease from my life, I dream. I have proved to be a terrible dreamer. It is way too sickening that every time I close my eyes I make this ecstatic transition to fantasy. The entire world seems to be bothering about me. I would triumph over everybody ,my love would come running into my arms , weeping, I wouldn’t say a thing , not a word for all that she put me through and suddenly everything would suddenly expand , enlarge itself and both of us disappear into a purple back ground Did I forget to mention the white steed?

Cheap ? banal? Hackneyed ? trite ? ( word power made easy?)
Especially after everything .But why cheap? There were moments of such absolute rapture, such happiness, that I do not feel the slightest trace of embarrassment. I swear I don’t. There is only faith, hope and love. And that is just the point: even at this moment I have a blind belief that by some miracle everything would expand, 70 mm ,I would go to US (wherever she is) ,I am in da fields playing ….ting ting ting ting ting ting ting ting…
Tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam…..

Jelly ..anyone?

2006-04-17T11:17:00.000+05:30

Nu Phrase: Life is in a jelly.

i know what u are probably thinking ,
.... c/r/a/p

c i already cut it....

Sutta na mila

2006-04-16T19:26:00.000+05:30

Warning: My smoking can be injurious to YOUR health

Happy B'day !

2006-04-13T00:00:00.000+05:30

shh....at the stroke of the mid night hour,on the other half of the world....

yeah ...on this side,

close your eyes , as I light the candles to say,

tinku gaaa

2006-04-11T08:22:00.000+05:30

tammi namasthene..
arrey! manchiga gurthu pattinav
etlunnave?
endo nayyaa..eppatikappudu..neetoni kalvaalani, manchiga

kushi jeskovalani ankunta..gaani em jestam?
nuvvu bizee, nenu bizee

assalu mana batkule tension batkulu annattu

online raaavu....koththa postlu pettav ..'killi killi' marichipoyinav( remember praneeth - aadu bidda aadu ....aaah gadhe.. same svaang)
gitlavuthe etlane?

manchiga chaduvukovale...Tagore anthati vaadivi avvale

andas some one said,

Neti Baalurey repati TAGORE lu kaavali.

banthae atta addesi kushi ga paddesi jumpu jumpu re thammudu

unta malla

gudumba shanker ...2nd time

2006-04-09T07:52:00.000+05:30

and so, I’ve decided to make a film based on my own personal and not so personal experiences. Random experiences here and there. I can pass it off for slick editing.

genre : pawan kalyan humour

Scene 1:

In a blue maruti 800

Location : tank bund

He-ro:I love u
She-ro:Oh!

He-ro:No…I mean …I love u
She-ro: Sorry?
He-ro: I was saying , I love you
She-ro: yaa I heard that. I just said sorry.

Scene 2 : (close up )

He-ro:I really love u?
She-ro:Why?
( background: maava maava maava maava) ( if u haven’t seen the Angrez…then I m sorry)
Hero says to himself:Why aaaa? Naaa bonda kaadu…..

Hero turns into V-ro. Dialogue for promos : naa peru Vero- creativity ekkuva , creation takkuva!

Scene 3: ( wide angle)
V-ro:Again….i love you…
She-ro:So?
V-ro to himself: So aaaa? Na bonda ra
She-ro:What do u expect from me?
V-ro:Naa peru sivamani….naaku fullu mental

Scene 4 :
V-ro fully loaded with johnny walker red label
Location: Friend’s car
V-ro: I love u ….u are being loved by me.
She-ro: oh! sorry
Yehe …

V-ro : I love you
She-ro : why don’t u love other girls?.
Background: (maaava maava maaava )
V-ro says to himself : maava….yendi idi…bheja truck ke saath fir takkar khaagayaa
She-ro: walks away at this critical moment.......Vero! sorry! I can not miss sarabhai vs sarabhai…let’s talk later

After 1 year:

V-ro: I love u ....i want to meet u
She-ro: I am right now in zoo…don’t disturb
V-ro : mental annaa…..hey! mental anna! …unnava?

What will happen to V-ro? Who is Mental Anna?Will yerragadda ppl ever get to me? ….whom will She-ro meet at zoo?Can Vero ever get over She-ro?will you ever be able to watch this on big screen?

Keep ur fingers crossed….

Happy Birthday!

2006-04-06T20:05:00.000+05:30

April 7th,1983
Region : Indian sub-continent
Latitude:14.27N
Longitude:79.59E

In one corner of a hospital, Sounds of “It’s a boy!!”
"Congrats! Party!!"

Legend goes that when all this was happening, there was another boy in the adjacent bed giving a frown which read ,” bah! Big deal ? Such conventionalism ?”

and anyone still wondering, W.H.O

Presenting the Superman,

Sagar Adarsh Singh alias Tinku Singh alias pichchi porodu.

who has succefully maintained this dissatisfaction with the world till now.
I am sure, while he’s reading this, he is saying : david! Why did u give me such idiots as friends?

Anway, probably his grouse with this world is justified because, he is too good for this world.
All said, I am also sure he is still not done with pissing off people with his trade mark indifference . Combining carbon with all possible kinds of s**t, reading some distorted comic stuff in his lab, he has taken his silliness across the Atlantic and the latest buzz is that our Nano Patekar will also do PhD. Daactar saaab, Happy Birthday!

P.S:No Woody Allens and Castellos for u man, coz probably u are too Original.
Chalo …inka chettu digu and Cut the Cake.

No Horn .OK. Please

2006-04-04T06:29:00.000+05:30

Barber shop Long queue Filmfare Magazine Madhuri Dixit smiles Mind blown away.
Dhak Dhak . Imagination runs wild.

( a few skeptics might not believe this , anyways , check for yourself , here)

You’re back after a while. How’s Mumbai treating you ?

So far so good.I took a week to adjust since it was snowing in Denver and Mumbai is so hot. Viggu himself had a bad cold, but he’s recovering.Also his internals have given me enough time to acclimatize.

Have you people( madhuri n ofcorse..) decided to move in?

Well, we are just talking about it. I really can’t comment unless something concrete happens.

But you are thinking of getting back to acting?

I’m listening to scripts. But I’m very sure that there has to be something special to compel me to get back into movies. Viggu is my first priority. Ideally, I would like to do films that don’t take me away from Him.

What do you miss most about Him?

I miss him like crazy. He isn’t out much these days. He’s just roaming around aimlessly. He was busy with his project report ,internals etc and I was busy preparing for my performance at the Filmfare. Probably, now that we are free, we can spend more time together.

Don’t you dance for him?

( Laughs)Once in a while. But then ,as it is, He makes me dance around the whole day.

Will we ever see you with your Viggu?

( Laughs) I don’t know. Thrice we came close, but it just didn’t happen. I am hoping for a new beginning.

What’s the best thing about Him?

( Everybody Laughs) Oh my goodness, there are so many good things. Where do I start?
He gives me so much love. I can’t explain how it feels like .He is the centre of everything in my life. Such unconditional love blows me away.

Has your cooking improved?

Oh yeah, most definitely. Viggu loves Chicken Tikka and barbecue stuff.

Is it true that He has an internal 3 hours from now , and He is doing this?

Yessssssssssssssssssssss….Speech Processing.

Simian Rivalry

2006-03-30T16:07:00.000+05:30

A recent survey among the girls of Hyderabad, given a choice....would it be,

OR

the contest seemed too one-sided

One of them even said 'sorry' and ......

'Sorry?'- Hey! she said 'sorry' after all.

Reminds me of a poem from my intermediate text book,

"La belle damme sans merci"

Neva quite liked it, but twas fun listening to people pronounce it in

da most obnoxious of ways.

Losing to a monkey in Zoo , doesn't really leave you with a great feeling.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

2006-03-28T20:51:00.000+05:30

at some point, disillusion breaks and u become...

Ans.

2006-03-26T15:33:00.000+05:30

A lot of times, these days I get these Qs hurled at me “ wot have u been upto?” “ u have changed man!” “ neva saw u” “ what r ur plans?” ( in dat order)…hmmm…generally i handle them how dravid would handle a bouncer…but now dat I m back in the nets, I think , I'll let Dostoevsky retort..

I have been eking out my days in my corner with a bitter feeling that I cud not become anything: neither bad nor good, neither a scoundrel nor a hero.
At the moments when I was capable of all the refinements of “ lofty and the beautiful” , as they say, yes , at those moments I…no , not felt but indulged in such unseemly acts as…..well, in a word, such acts as are, perhaps ,committed by everyone, but which in my case occurred, as if on purpose, just when I was most keenly aware that they should never occur at all.
The more I became aware of this , the deeper I sank into my slime, and the more likely I was to get mired down in it altogether. But the main point is that all this seemed to take place within me not by chance , but as though it had to be so. As though this were my most normal condition. I almost came to believe that this indeed was my normal condition.
I would gnaw and gnaw at myself in silence, tearing and nagging at myself until the bitterness would finally begin to turn into a kind of shameful, damnable sweetness and , in the end- into a definite , positive pleasure.
This pleasure comes from the awareness of your own degradation; from the knowledge that you have gone to the utmost limit, that is despicable . That I no longer have a way out , that I will never become a different man. Even if there were still time and faith enough to change myself , I do not wish to change, and, if u wished, u wud do nothing about it anyway, because, infact ,there is perhaps nothing to change to. I’ve sometimes felt embarrassed by it but I wouldn’t have been able to take revenge on anyone, since, I would surely never have brought myself to do anything even if I could .why not? Well…

rain drops keep falling on my head

2006-03-25T18:08:00.000+05:30

THINGS happen , and u know there are some other THINGS which are going to happen in life

and the only THING ringing in your mind....

"is god dead?"

musthafa ....musthafa....

2006-03-19T16:02:00.000+05:30

I have a messenger called yahoo, where i got this offline.....

Once, a constant and e raised to x (e^x) were going down a road, when they spotted the derivative operator at a junction. The constant started perspiring -- fully in tension. He said, "Oh shit ... the derivative will convert me into zero". e^x was cool, he said,"Ha! the derivative can't do anything to me, I am e^x." So, in an overconfident manner, he went to the junction, while constant stayed back. e^x went there, and told the derivative, "I am e^x, you can't do anything to me!" The derivative replies back, "I'm not d/dx, I'm d/dy”.

holi haiiiiiin !!!

2006-03-15T20:00:00.000+05:30

"Watching those colours blowing in the wind and the cheerful crowd spreading happiness,an abyss of fortune or of temparament sundered him from them. His mind seemed older than theirs- it shone coldly on their strifes and happiness and regrets like a moon upon a younger earth. No life or youth stirred in him as it had stirred in them.He had neither known the pleasure of companionship with others nor the vigour of rude male health nor filial piety.Nothing stirred within his soul but a cold and cruel and loveless tune. His childhood was dead or lost and with it his soul capable of simple joys and he was drifting amid life like the barren shell of the moon.

Art thou pale for weariness
Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,
Wandering companionless...?

He repeated to himself these lines of Joyce.Its alternation of sad human ineffectiveness
with vast inhuman cycles of inactivity chilled him that reminded him of his own human and
ineffectual grieving."
Brushing aside these thoughts,

Tralala lala,
Tralala tralaladdy,
Tralala lala,
Tralala lala

---- he went on, when an eagle dressed as an angel from the skies descended on him,
Pulled out his eyes................apologized
Pulled out his eyes.......and .....apologized

Washed away

2006-03-11T19:22:00.000+05:30

As i sauntered along the beach with the early stars of the night
i tripped on shells, i tripped on lives
--newly weds ,younger lovers , howling kids and B.E kids
lost in their own worlds
Innocent shells in all colors
colored the shore
as the orange sun sank deeper into the blanket of clouds

My eyes tried to reach as far as they could
When, a distant wave waved out to me
I cried out aloud only to be answered by another woosh
I looked around giving out a surprised stare
But my people as ever had no blinks to spare

The wave it seemed had a story to tell and after a long time it seemed
Someone was interested in me
the wooshing sound reverberated in my inner world
As if a some one was playing a song with the strings of my heart
The more it pulled , deeper was the calm
In this deserted world of clamor
in solitude I spent those moments of confusion
waiting for the wave to wash me away
Away from the horizon into the sun where the rainbow always sleeps

I started bidding my farwell to the shore ,
As the wave got closer
Shells in different hues touched my feet trying to stop me
But with strength I moved ahead eager to meet my wave
I fought harder but the simple shells were in full force
But I was sure that my wave would free me

It came , wooshed ,and left
in total disbelief i stood before i realised it went away without me
I tried to catch up with it
But the land under me was slipping
I picked up a stone in my arm as if to wage a war with the ocean and all the gods
When suddenly I looked down
Only to find that the shells I was playing with
Were the shards of my dreams
And broken dreams ,I learnt, never get washed away

u No ooooh ....

2006-03-11T08:53:00.000+05:30

Jaana suno hum tum pe marte hain
Tumse mohabbat karte hain

Chaahat meri haseen koi gunaah hai nahin
Ye jo mohabbat hai
Yehi to ibaadat hai
To phir aao pyaar mein jalayein dil
Jalke bujh na paayein dil
Hai apni manzil yahin pe
Aa ab kahin na ja
Tum kahin bhi jaao yahin pe hai aana
Ki dil ka dil hai thikaana

Jaana suno hum tum pe marte hain
Tumse mohabbat karte hain

Aao kuchh asie milein hum tumse
Ki aaj khuda bhi hasn pade humpe
Milein hum milein hum
Tumse tumse
Ki Khuda khuda
Bhi hans de hans de
To phir aao pyaar mein jalayein dil
Jalke bujh na paayein dil
Hai apni manzil yahin pe
Aa ab kahin na ja
Tum kahin bhi jaao yahin pe hai aana
Ki dil ka dil hai thikaana

Jaana suno hum tum pe marte hain
Tumse mohabbat karte hain

Ek duje mein hum yoon kho jayein
Main hoon ki tum khud dhoondh na payein
Do badan do badan
Yoon mile yoon mile
Ki pata ki pata
Na chale na chale
To phir aao pyaar mein jalayein dil
Jalke bujh na paayein dil
Jalke bujh na paayein dil
Pyaar mein jalayein dil
Jalke bujh na paayein dil

Jaana suno hum tum pe marte hain
Tumse mohabbat karte hain

-- croonings of a confused 'bert in mid-sea, capsized from a 'banana' ride

I m sorry to say ....

2006-03-02T20:22:00.000+05:30

other epithets that might have crossed your mind:

--- sachchindu po

--- em chestam ...life babu ....life

--- finally!

to Go(a) or not to go aaa?

2006-02-28T20:34:00.000+05:30

reasoNOs : many

reYEAHsons: many

It is at these confusing times , mature level headed world over resort to …..u know what:

Tails …

hmmm. let’s make it best of 5 :

heads

heads

tails

and still flipping

Current status: Match upgraded to best of 20 , infact thought of a new round robin format , but

someother time.

I got coins to flip now.

now this is "innovation"

2006-02-25T14:49:00.000+05:30

"?"

2006-02-20T22:17:00.000+05:30

scandals /conspiracies / sting operations ,these are somethings which I am sure most of us just can’t get enough of. We are always game for them…atleast I am . Sting operations being my personal favorite.
Anyways , I think I am trying to put forward something more important and critical. A scam, which,if proved can shake the very foundations of the system in our India.

So, it was this normal evening in front of the tv , me unable to bear my own stink when all of a sudden it struck me , does Dadra & Nagar Haveli really exist? For that matter Daman n Diu ….do these places really exist? With so many 24 hour news channels, have you ever heard of any reporter saying “ with cameraman chintoo , me pintu -dadra n nagar haveli?” how many people can even tell me the name of their capitals within the next 15days without actually searching on the net or the atlas?

Is it possible that the Govt all this while has been fooling us on this issue . Is it not very much believable that they have created this imaginary place and they are just diverting all the money allotted to it to their coffers? or is it that it is India's answer to area -51 err...jaaga-51??

Btw when all the channels are vying against each other to get the best of the experts and ex cricketers to comment on India’s win . Guess whom does our favorite doordarshan invites…….guess …guess…..
Bantoo Singh!!!( poorv khiladi)

sona kitna sona hain........zzz...zzzz..

2006-02-18T15:42:00.000+05:30

Rolling on the bed
With a blurry blue sky on one side and the radium glow from the clock on the other
I lay there with eyes half open and wondering , what was I dreaming about ?
When I was supposed to ask ,when did I last dream?
Have I lost the power to dream?
Have dreams left my side ?
Or is it that……… , ....….. ,.... ... .. . .

Naah! I can dream and I will , and I violently draw the covers over my head
Waging a battle to win back my dreams
Helen of Troy! here I come
11 hours of slumber and still going
I think all that we need is a reason to sleep

Chaos Theory

2006-02-14T14:22:00.000+05:30

if only someone could tie up these loose ends......and if someone's really bored, they can try and connect all these to weave a story which i am jobless enough to read....

lovapalooza

2006-02-13T16:17:00.000+05:30

With time ,he traversed through many lives
And languished at many worlds ,but when
the rays fell upon those golden fields
The radiance from it was too inviting
for him to suspect
He heard a lot about them
-The eternal sunshine and the many dreams
With a pure exuberance he set foot on those lands
making no efforts to conceal his excitement
Gorgeous colors painted his vision

A distant desolate crooning welcomed him
but he chose not to hear anything
Into those cherished woods he entered
with eyes tightly closed ,
he wanted it to be a surprise

Eyes opened, to a graveyard of dreams
Uprooted trees everywhere,
The desolate crooning became clearer
It was as if all the trees were mourning in unison
It wasn’t anything they always spoke about
Those enchanting rhythms, ever lasting rapture that always went along
And all of then ,a waft of fragrance flew past
It was something he knew, it was in the air
It filled him with hope.
Gathering himself, he followed it
It led into a garden- withered roses on everyside
a few trampled and a few awaiting death
Wingless birds groveling on land
and mutilated leaves hanging to the stems

A heavy silence creeped inside
He vowed never to probe into these lands
and turned around to get back
But from the edge of the world where he now stood ,
he only had one way to go

Bhangima!

2006-02-12T16:52:00.000+05:30

class : Satellite and Radar Communication

on Karthik's Sony Erricson P910 i

Just trying to decipher what did i end up with ? i choose to call it 'art' .

Stop rolling on the floor .

Ok.

Now that you have regained your senses.

If any one could suggest a proper meaning to this ....

**All your earnest attempts at humour are discouraged.

on the ragged edge of solitude

2006-02-11T07:28:00.000+05:30

Ever spent a whole morning thinking about what to do in the evenings and the whole evenings planning for the next morning? (sashank …stop nodding your head)Well, if anyone has closely observed me in the last 2 months or so , this would not be something new. I know it would seem impossible to believe that I was actually trying to crack the entrances for some of the top b-schools,but no one ever told me then that I am no longer the born genius I always thought I was. But coming back to an even more serious question which most of today’s generation of me and my friends face ‘what is a man supposed to do when he’s foisted upon with 24hours in a day?’

And because I cannot properly link all my thoughts….. I just leave loose links to my next lines…., these books have given me company through all those moments of deep contemplation. Stopped over at many worlds in the process each erasing the memories of others….loose link 2...

My dad links this quality of mine to me always switching channels….hmmm…..So,

-The Zahir (Paulo Coehlo)--Obsession! Obsession! ...to live and dream are synonymous

-Dilbert Future (Scott Adams) --very mention of this name and I am rofl

-Kafka on the Shore(Haruki Murakami)-- meta-physical , magical realism,psychedelic…. for people who do not mind a cat and a man discussing about vicissitudes of life.

-God’s debris( Peddanna Scott Adams)-- anna gari maatallo-have your brains spun around inside your skulls . although , even i hate e-books but this one's a must http://www.andrewsmcmeel.com/godsdebris/

One Night @ Call center( u know who)--Perfect bollywood screenplay. Would have been better with songs n ol. me and priyanka chopra will make an awesome pair

Karamazov Brothers(Dostoevsky)-- Average Joes have no right to even comment about theGod ,read, Dostoevsky .So forget about below average Joes like me.

Books of Magic( Neil Gaimann)-- No offence to the great man, but with all due cuss words for a drexelite.my mom was convinced that I was on the verge of committing suicide.

The Last Temptation(Neil Gaimann)--Hmm. I had to watch Jaani Dushman 3 times to feel better again.

Memoirs of Pablo Neruda -- yes. I was in depression then.

Living to tell a tale( autobiography - Gabriel Garcia Marquez)-- some books deserve to be flipped thru.but, heard this person's been a guiding light to many great leaders.

History of Napolean-- halfway through and I was already devising plans to attack secunderabad and warangal

Fundamentals of fundamentalism(mahmood bin muhammad …who?) My F.R.P index* touched new heights around that time.

*Female Repellance Potential

Hitchhiker series( Douglas Adams)-- quarter way through and was becoming too weird to handle

Secular Agenda ( Arun Shourie)-- reading now(article 25,26 370,shariat ….might sound boring , but very interesting)

Namesake(Jhumpa Lahiri)--Our cousins in the US will say…how true!

Da vinci code decoded-- turned out to be a self help book where in ,he asks you to lie down on the floor like a Virtuvian man and…..and ….nakko re baba I thought but couldn’t suppress myself to finish this one. Actually, it turns out to be insanely funny ….if your sense of humour is as obscure as mine.

Well, now coming to the point, you must have got a feeling that after all this , i must have run upon something close to sensible and profound in the process….but what is it in me, that, when in a conversation or in a group I still always manage to say the dumbest thing possible and the only expressions I have when someone gives me any kind of news good /bad is ….cool/kewl/ and very often…party!!!
And why is it that I get all possessive about any girl who goes on to ask me “which college are you from?”

shabba khair

2006-02-10T09:04:00.000+05:30

did i mention ? i stay in 'Domal'guda

Here's to another summer!

2006-02-08T08:14:00.000+05:30

Strolling past the trenches of my heart
Wading through those ups and slides
Flowing past those streams of love
Meandering through those days of joy
And smiling at those wistful moments
I walk past those cloudy lanes of dreams
Where It seemed I would ever stay
Flowering in those complex recesses is a newer light
which fades the rest and again I move on
Giving it no name ,befriending silence I walk by
Waving at the springs and autumns
with a deceptive smile .into another new summer

Wazzup?

2006-02-07T10:43:00.000+05:30

The question which most people hurl at me these days …wazzup?
Wazzup/ wassup/ssup? And for the unitiated …what is up?
different variants . u could ask it in different ways giving it your own zing.
Wherever it is ..on the phone , on the street , on ym …wazzup it is. if you have had the patience to listen to telugu songs or the remixes of late, you couldn't have missed out on it.
And more often than not I’ve learnt to respond to it with a smile with my 2 front teeth outside , just to scare them away , but I guess my lack of dracularity hampers me and if it’s on ym I reply with “wazzup?”
More often than not, this question ’s followed by a brief silence and therein lies my moment of glory , I am on my way to piss off yet another person. But this victory gets short livened by another equally haunting question, “seen any movies?”
How am I supposed to reply to that? If I remember my last movie was 'insaaf kaun karega'
For that matter , before IKK it was 'brashtaachaar' and 'woh ek raam tha' . I have seen 'rang de basanti' and 'infernal affairs'but I have this terrific memory and a rusted tongue which more often than not says somethings like this and a heavy ( I mean crazily heavy ) silence takes over. After enjoying these sounds of silence ,to snap them out of it “ bye . Me got some important work“ or a “gtg on ym” and then I presume they have me on “permanently offline”.
Things over the past few hours I have done which I classify as ‘important work’
-- made another dismal attempt at writing a technical paper
-- been to an empty book fair, with not a single penny in pocket . Also managed to bargain a 500rs book for 400. Staring at all those piles of self-help stuff made me wonder if there’s a book on ‘how to write a self help book ?’ and as you are reading this , somewhere, some monk or a ceo must be out with one.
--called up the computer institute , pleading him to start a .NET course. I guess no one over there learns this course coz I’ve been after that guy for the last 2 weeks and everyday he tells me “next Wednesday”
--emptied my entire i-shuffle and ended up loading the same ole songs to it. Believe it or not I’ve read the manual about 3 times now and I still am not sure how to update whatever songs I like and how to dump my songs onto a friend’s pc.

And you always thought , your lives are boring,period.

Btw, IKK stars he-man dharmendra , rajnikanth,jayaprada
Brashtaachaar- rajni again , with mithunda , rekha( she’s a lawyer cum journalist cum karate teacher)
WERT- Jackie shroff ,radhika and bheem -the dog and nagaraj -the snake
And if you are dying to know what could the storyline be , well…………

ctrl+alt+del

2006-02-06T21:28:00.000+05:30

And here I am.
Yes! New pc , pen drives ,a not so new i-shuffle,
//Yes, IT has finally made it's way to the masses
New pepsi , new mattress, new curtains,
So , much for something new
So , why not a new blog? - --"you had a blog earlier ?" ….well….